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Sick Thoughts

I am completely sick yet again. I feel like this a trend. About a month out from every concert with my band, I get horribly sick. It is so annoying. I literally spent all morning just laying around the house being miserable until I HAD to go to rehearsal.

While rehearsal was fun and I enjoyed myself there were two things that bothered me today. First was obviously that I feel like a piece of crap and my body wanted me to go home the second I got there. The second was I just felt uneasy. Maybe it was the sickness, but I felt uncomfortable with my band for the first time in a long time. I don’t know, I just wish people were more straight forward and direct with their thoughts. Not just my fellow band members, but just everyone in general.

We don’t speak our minds enough. I think people are too worried about hurting each other. And while I completely understand that side, I think it’s more detrimental to relationships to hold that shit in.

-Hope xoxo



I really pride myself on letting myself speak freely and openly on the Internet. I say what I mean and what I am thinking and I try not to edit myself too much.

My sister and I have made now two almost entirely unedited videos of us just talking for my VEDA series on my YouTube channel. Besides the spelling and grammar check, I don’t filter or rethink what I write on here.

I believe that if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all and I believe that THAT is the greatest filter there is.

What about you, No One? Do you edit yourself and your content that you put out onto the Internet? And I’m talking like finely editing videos or wording and rewording phrases for blogs or whatever. Let me know!

-Hope xoxo

my bass that I bought yesterday at Guitar Center :D

my bass that I bought yesterday at Guitar Center 😀

Hi, Hannah

So, my No One, today I’m going to talk to one of you very specifically. My sister, Hannah, who recently has been going through my blog posts and reading them. So hello, sissy. Right now, you just left my bedroom after sitting in here for almost two hours whilst we talked about our days and funny things that happened to us and the kids at work and blah blah blah.

No One, you don’t know this, but my sister is going on her study abroad on Friday (PST) and while most sibling cherish the time they have apart, I’m honestly dread it. Hannah is my best friend, and no I’m not just saying that cuz you’re probably going to read this, Sissy. She tells me everything (even the stuff I don’t necessarily want to know about) and I honestly do my best to reciprocate the openness, but it’s hard because I don’t generally like talking about my feelings outside of this here blog. The thing that gets me about her is the fact that she wants to know everything I’m thinking and feeling no matter what and for no real reason. She just cares.

Isn’t that absolutely sickening, No One?

A lot of people tell me I’m really lucky to have such a great relationship with my sister, but they don’t really need to tell me cuz I already know.

So, Hannah, I love you very much and I can’t wait until you get back from your trip abroad. I’m gonna miss you a lot unfortunately.

-Hope xoxo


New media is like a megaphone. It amplifies your ability to reach more people.

-Mark Batterson

New Media: The Pros and Cons IMO

So everyone here should know by now that I highly prefer new media over traditional media. Naturally this is just my opinion and I totally understand why people might have their problems with it, so today I just kinda wanted to go over a few of the pros and cons of it.


  • All you need is an Internet connection
  • The exchange of differing views and opinions is often much more prevalent and often is encouraged
  • Everyday people can make content for others in order to spread their own stories and raise awareness to their own problems, not big corporations who might have their own agendas
  • While some people have large followings, technically your voice is just as loud as theirs. It just hasn’t reached as many people


  • Credibility can sometimes be harder to verify
  • It’s a breeding ground for negativity sometimes

Please let me your thoughts on the two types of media that many are forced to choose between. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

-Hope xoxo

I find that when you open the door toward openness and transparency, a lot of people will follow you through.”

-Kirsten Gillibrand

Destiny is not something that happens all at once. It’s something that happens in retrospect.”

-John Green

In A Constant State of Confusion

As always, I seem to have found myself trapped in a state of confusion. Today I visited my favorite coffee shop after work to get some tea and relax after a long day and one of my friends/ baristas was working. We talked while I ordered my tea and he brought up going to the beach together. I’d messaged him a couple of weeks back via Instagram direct asking him if he’d like to go because I knew that he liked the beach and I was going by myself, so why not bring someone else, but I hadn’t really thought anything of it. He respectfully declined that time and asked for a rain check and today he brought it up out of the blue and asked if we could go. I said sure and we’re planning on going on Friday morning before we both have work.

Normal right?

It wasn’t until after my tea was steeping that he said, “What are you doing right now? Are you going anywhere?”

I responded no, because I wasn’t. I was planning on just sitting and enjoying my tea and some alone time, mind you. Then he said, “Okay, well I just got off. Why don’t you sit down and let’s catch up.”

I naturally obliged, mildly perplexed that he honestly wanted to sit down and chat with me, but then we did!

For like two fucking hours.

And the weirdest thing was I really enjoyed myself. He’s a really funny guy and pretty open once you get him going. We surprisingly have a lot in common and he’s just a delightful person to be around.

So we’re hanging out on Friday morning, but he wants to also hang out again either before or after that to watch the Die Hard series together because he was furious that I’ve never seen them and I honestly can’t wait, but at the same time I’m very confused. I can’t tell if I like this cracker just as a friend, as an individual, or as anything else. I guess I’ll find out in due time, but shit man I had a good fucking time tonight with him.

-Hope xoxo

im in a glass case of emotion

The Oscars vs. The Internet

Honestly, this year’s Oscars were very difficult for me to watch, for a multitude of reasons.

1. The lack of racial diversity

I know I am not a person of color, but as a feminist I couldn’t help but feel outraged by the lack of our beautiful brothers and sister of color at such a distinguished event. It really fucking pissed me off.

2. I really haven’t seen most of the movies because of the Internet.

No, I’m not spending all of my time here, on the Internet (although I’d like to). But since I don’t watch T.V. anymore because Internet content is more entertaining to me and toward my age range, I hadn’t even fucking heard of some of the movies up for awards!

American Sniper- I couldn’t watch it because it’s triggering for me, but I honestly only heard of it because of my parents who wanted to see it because of the ads of T.V.

Birdman- Never even fucking heard of it.

Boyhood- Saw it because it was recommended on RedBox when I visited my local 711.

The Grand Budapest Hotel- I watched because it was available on my flight to Europe, but I didn’t watch it at the time (I didn’t have enough time to watch it) so I watched it at the next possible chance that I had. Here’s my review of it btw

The Imitation Game- I’ve heard of it because it stars Benedict Cumberbatch who essentially rules alongside of Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins. But I honestly hadn’t seen any actually trailers or previews until I became interested in it because of tumblr’s hype.

Selma- Hadn’t heard about it until a few days before Martin Luther King Junior Day when it popped up onto my Facebook news feed.

The Theory of Everything- I saw a trailer for it when I went and saw Into the Woods and got excited, but after that I haven’t really seen anything.

Whiplash- Literally no idea. What even is this movie and why was it nominated so many times?

I just want to understand why marketing and advertisements continue to completely ignore the Internet and instead cater to conventional entertainment sources. Don’t they understand that there is hundreds of millions of people online everyday that aren’t seeing these movies or shows because we don’t even receive news that these things are happening!

Just my thoughts. Share your thoughts with me please, No One, and make me feel less alone for not knowing what the fuck is actually going on.

-Hope xoxo


Luck or Determination?

Now listen up, I like to gamble. A lot. I wouldn’t say that I’m a gambling addict. No, not yet. But I would say that I spend an unusual amount of time at Native American casinos compared to most people my age.

Now I don’t gamble because I’m good at it. In fact, I really don’t think there is any skill involved unless we’re talking table games which I don’t partake in. Neither am I particularly lucky in any fashion. I may be a tad superstitious, yes, but I don’t have any rituals or premeditation involved before I go.

No, I truly believe that I do well at what I love because I am determined to win. I suppose this could be said for most people about most things, but I believe that determination is what reaps the most benefit for me when it comes to gambling… and writing… and singing… and playing the piano… and being a hard worker… I really could go on.

Because it’s not necessarily our initial skills in a field that make us good, but our determination to further our ability and want to cultivate those skills that make us perhaps experts or better yet, passionate.

-Hope xoxo