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On Being Tired, But Feeling Obligated to Feel Otherwise

This clip from one of my favorite films, Ferris Bueler’s Day Off, is pretty much an exact representation of how I’ve been feeling lately.

I feel like whenever I “have” to do something, I end up going, but not until after I’ve kicked and screamed for a good long while or someone’s had to extensively convince me to go. I don’t know where this apathy came from, I don’t know if it’s going to stay, but to a certain degree it’s kinda pissing me off and annoying me. I know I just need to get shit done, but I don’t wannaa.

I just wanna sit at home and tink away at my piano and have no one talk to me.

Is that too much to ask for? XD

Oh man, I live such a privileged life and I’m so lucky to live the life that I do. I’m just tired and I need a fucking nap.

-Hope xoxo

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So much to do, Such little time.

Midterms are coming up and I’m really starting to feel something that i’ve felt toward school before.

Regret.

I’ve noticed, at least for my HIST101 class, that I’ve been really neglecting my studies toward the course. Which leads me to the only logical thought that must come next, “Well shit.”

I have no idea how I’m going to be able to study for such an intensive class in such a short amount of time when I have so many other things I have to do and must take care of. I mean like tonight I have this really cool game night that I want to go to with my new youth group. Tomorrow, I’m going to the PALOMA FAITH CONCERT THAT I WON TICKETS TOO. OMFG. And then I also have to finish reading a book for my RWS 200 class, write a new short story for my ENGL280, do about thirty pages of reading for my ASTR101 class, and work on my final project for my WNST101 class! My fucking Zod, that’s a lot of shit I have to do.

I’m slowly starting to tackle everything though. I read some the assigned reading for my RWS 200 class. I started the format and outline for my WMNST101 project. I know what I’m going to wear for the Paloma concert (which is a huge deal and yes does take a long time to figure out so shut up).

I’m afraid I’m not sure what I want to write about though for my ENGL280 course so if you have any suggestions or ideas, No One, please send them my way. And I really should do that reading for my ASTR101 class, but honestly I think I’ll have to dedicate all of Sunday to studying for this midterm.

Well, now that I’ve told someone what I have to do, hopefully I’ll take care to actually do it.

-Hope xoxo

stressed