When I dropped him, I shattered. Translation – no man has pleased me since, but I’d like to watch you try.”
We have made ourselves into bloody altars. The only thing we are good at is making martyrs.”
I can hardly breathe.
My lungs feel like they’re collapsing in on themselves
I hate the feeling.
I can hardly think
My thoughts focusing and refocusing on your absence
Like the focus of a camera
I miss your presence.
I can hardly see
Through the tears that well up in my eyes
As my heart is ripped apart from itself.
I can’t do this.
But you’re leaving.
All of you.
You’re all leaving
Don’t go, I don’t know
When I’ll see you again
If I’ll see you again
Looking the way you do
Full of life and a fire behind those eyes.
Don’t leave me
I can’t do this again.
And you’re gone.
And I’m here.
Crying over the people I love
Hating them for making me so
P.S. This is a very personal topic for me and it’s a very rough piece, but I’d appreciate some gentle critiques if any of you are willing to leave them. Thank you for reading this and I hope you aren’t judging me too harshly. It’s just been rough since Bobby left.
This is a spoken word poem that I wrote today. Please don’t steal it or I will be upset because this is my life and my work and I will cut a bitch. Thanks. Here’s the poem:
That one week in paradise
I saw the sun shine for the first time
In months, with you.
We met in a flash of spontaneity
And I couldn’t resist
So that night I just kissed you.
My mind confused and in awe
You tasted like the vodka we’d been drinking all night
Your hands held my face and you were all I was thinking about in that one moment.
And that first night, we just kissed
That’s all I wanted. All I needed
To make me fall for you.
The days that followed were
Bright and laughter filled
We spent our one week in paradise together
Inseparable, infatuated, in love.
Your sweet laugh warmed my soul
My adventurous side showed us the world
We hardly knew each other,
But I felt like I’d known you my whole life.
When the week finally ended and our time in paradise was up
You kissed me just like that first time.
Drunken with love and happy and wanting to just keep kissing me forever.
Tears fell down my face and you laughed and kissed them away.
You held me tight in your arms one last time and
Then you let me go
Onto my next adventure and I let you go to yours.
Always remembering us and our little haven of joy
Remembering your beautiful blue eyes and how they looked at me
Remembering how you told me to smile and
Remembering how I couldn’t stop smiling when I was with you
Remembering how we learned to live in the moment together
Remembering how we were free to be who we wanted to be with each other so we were the who we always wanted to be
Remembering how different we once were but how much of the same person we are
Remembering how you told me about your pain and
Remembering how you helped me deal with mine
Remembering how you told me that it was okay to love again
Even if it was just for a week
A week in paradise.
That was the poem. I hope you liked it. Please leave any comments or suggestions or whatever in the comments and I love you very much.