Typically, I’m pretty okay with them. Meaning my position on the idea and practice of them. I personally have never truly excelled at any particular sport, though in high school I was on the varsity volleyball team for two years. But then again, who wasn’t?
This weekend, however, has kind of changed my opinion on the institution of facilitated and regulated sports. Obviously, today was Super Bowl Sunday – a very important day for most Americans. Over the past few years, my interest in football has decreased dramatically as I realized that it was okay for me to not particularly enjoy something. But I’ve at least entertained and indulged my patriotism for Super Bowl Sunday by going to parties and shouting for teams that I’d never really cared for until that day. I mostly enjoyed the crazy commercials and the good food that often goes along with the event, but this year while the commercials were great and the food was perfect I was distracted by my family’s uproar and disapproval of the more emotional commercials and commercials that were directed in order to get a point across or make audiences feel something (Always #LikeAGirl commercial, Budweiser’s lost dog commercial, etc.). I was distracted and mildly distraught by their disapproval. I literally had an uncle say, “If they show one more damn mopey commercial, I’m never going to watch the commercials for the Super Bowl again.”
Really, Uncle Who Shall Not Be Named? Really?
Are the important statements and real emotions too much for you while you’re trying to watch grown men smash their skulls into each other? Are they so offending to you that they’ll make you stop watching one of your favorite overtly masculine past times? Really?
Putting aside my anger at the obtusity of certain family members and how their attitudes reflect most straight, upper class, white men in society, I do have a conflicting side to my hating of sports.
Namely, my college’s basketball game that I went to on Saturday.
Now it is no secret that SDSU is my university and it also no secret that they have one of the best students sections in the country for basketball. Don’t believe me? We Literally Have Our Own Wiki Page.
And it is in participating, experiencing, and just plain SEEING the spirit and joy that hundreds upon thousands of people feel at a simple basketball game that makes me consider that maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. I think we can all agree that having a common interest and common sense of pride typically isn’t a bad thing and in fact can bring pleasant experiences and fond memories to look back on.
So you see, I’m quite in the middle on the subject of sports and their importance to myself and society as I see it. Please, if you feel so obliged, let me know what you think in the comments. I’d love to hear y’all’s points of view.
So the past twenty four hours have been very exciting and eventful. Many of you know that I am in a band and I had my usual Tuesday night rehearsal where I learned two new songs (it was rough, but we’re working on it) and just generally enjoyed my friends’ presences. That was all great and dandy, especially after a long day at work. But literally as I pulled into the garage after rehearsal Bobby called me and we got to talk for about fifteen minutes which was awesome. But the best part was by far near the end of the conversation he told me he might have a day or two off this weekend and that if I wanted to I could come up with his dad and stepmom and see him.
I didn’t even know that this would be possible let alone so close in my future so you can imagine how STOKED I WAS.
It took everything in me to not start crying when he told me and I’m still in complete disbelief that I might get to see him.
After that eventfulness, I busied myself with getting ready for bed and today and went to sleep. Then this morning I woke up at six in the morning to get ready for school. I got to my first class at 7:30, a full half hour before it even started, and got to my second class in plenty of time. Woo!
My first class (on Wednesdays) is my communications class which I’m not very excited about, but it is a requirement for all SDSU students to take so I guess I just have to get over it, even though I desperately don’t want to. My second class is Religious Studies 100: Exploring the Bible and I’m actually excited about this class after going to class today. My professor seems really nice and excited about the class so his enthusiasm is helping mine.
Other than all of that, I work from this afternoon and have some homework that I should do afterwards. But maybe this week won’t be too awful.
Okay, I’m starting to hear you, No One. Y’all clearly enjoy my poetry, which -hey- is flattering to say the least.
I’ll be posting more of that on here then which is both exciting and nerve racking. Gotta focus on writing some good poetic shit which is probably good practice as a writer, poet, and novelist.
I think I’ll post another tonight, but until then I’m gonna talk at you (mostly for myself) for a hot minute.
Now I know I have yet to fully experience college like seniors at SDSU, but I feel like my whole opinion on the institution has greatly changed.
College (from what I understand) forces you to sometimes, if not often, be alone. Alone with your thoughts and with your textbooks. Secluded from friendships, sometimes with hundreds of miles between you and your best friend.
I don’t mind the quiet of loneliness too much. I thought I would have, but the silence and distance isn’t comforting, but rather reinforcing. Reinforcing that which I had only thought was true as knowing as fact. I thought my best friend, C, and I were good friends, but I didn’t realize how deep and truly magnificent our friendship was and is until some distance, separation, and silence was put in between us.
Furthermore, I thought it would be easier to make friends in college, and sure the first week it definitely was easy, but after that initial week when all of us freshmen were desperate for companionship and everyone had made their best friends, it became difficult. You have to put in time and effort into the people that you should CAREFULLY select as your friends. I didn’t make many friends this semester which again, I’m fine with. But for those few extroverts who read my blog, please understand the time and effort required, Don’t feel like no one wants to be your friend. It’s not you, everyone just has their own shit going on.
Also, homework. I know I’ve yet to experience the real wrath/ magnanimity of homework that perhaps juniors and seniors experience in college, but it is a lot more than I had originally guesstimated.
Additionally, professors couldn’t care less about you, except for a few. I know the professor of ENGL280 class was a significantly kinder and nicer fella than say my HIST101 professor who was terrifyingly apathetic to say the least. There’s a spectrum of professors and you just have to be ready to see every single one of them.
I don’t really know what else to say so here take a picture of my cappuccino.
Today I went to my first intensive writing workshop. It was with my ENGL280: Intro to Creative Writing class and holy shit did I have fun. I think it might actually be one of my favorite college memories thus far. There were only ten students and then the teacher so we sat round in a circle with each other’s stories that we got the class before and that we had read over and annotated. We started with some other people’s work all of which were phenomenal and very entertaining. Then bout half way through we came to my story which I hadn’t been very confident in when I turned it in. But everyone’s feedback and commentary about my lil piece was so positive and constructive that I felt that they really did care about my piece and the characters and wanted me to develop it more for the sake of their own curiosity. I loved every second! Suddenly, my confidence in my story soared and I’m considering posting it on here once I’m done with the revisions.
Do not get me wrong, no one treated me like I was the fucking Queen Bee or anything, but they treated me like how they treated everyone else, with respect and knowledgable comments. My favorite story from the workshop was actually by my friend, T, and holy crap I wish you could read it, No One. It is so well put together and the ending. OH SHIT THE ENDING.
Look at me, I’m fangirling over my friend’s work. What have I become?
Also, today I visited the SDSU Pride Center for the first time and I really enjoyed going there and meeting everyone and just sitting down and talking! I was worried at first that they wouldn’t really want me to be there cuz I’m just a weenie lil freshman girl, but they were all so fucking welcoming! I didn’t feel pressured or awkward at all after the first few minutes. A whole group of us talked for probably an hour and a half or so before I decided that I should leave to get home and study for my test that I have tomorrow. One of the young men, J, seemed genuinely upset that I was going because everyone was gonna go do something in a half hour. Thankfully they understood my homework situation, but I think I might go back next week if I’m not too busy!
So from the beginning, I have told everyone that the only class that I thought I might have trouble with this semester would be my Rhetorical Writing Strategies 200 class. The teacher is kind of an odd teacher, provides pop quizzes, organizes his syllabus differently, and his style is interesting to say the least. Additionally, I was concerned about the content of this class; its main focus is analyzing essays and writing our own. Now I’m not bad at these two things, but they are not my areas of expertise. But today, I got back my first essay from that class and it had a big fat A on the front.
I was satisfied to say the least.
Okay I might have thrown a fist up in the air and said, “Yes!” quietly under my breath, but no one saw so you have no proof.
Okay so maybe last night I was freaking out about nothing.
Today was surprisingly awesome. Lemme just give you a quick run down in chronological order
- I woke up on time
- I looked fine
- I got my cappuccino pick me up
- Got to campus in record time
- Found an excellent parking spot in an excellent parking lot
- Found my first class with an hour to spare
- Enjoyed the morning sun and played on tumblr while I waited
- Went to my first class
- Teacher asked me a question that I knew the answer to and I DIDN’T STUTTER
- Figured out first class would be an easy pass
- Had lunch with my bff, C, from high school
- Lunch was delicious and healthy
- Found my second class and got a good spot against the wall so I could charge my laptop
- Discovered I would like my second teacher when he started cursing at his slow computer
- Figured out this second class would be a tad harder than what I was used to
- Made a friend while getting a FREE OTTERPOP and he invited me to a frat party (XD) and got my phone number (high five)
- Met a friend from high school and had a delightful chat
- Got a little lost trying to get home while avoiding traffic
- And now I’m chilling at my favorite coffee shop, drinking my favorite drink, and writing my blog as a college freshman.
Fuck yeah, my day was good.
And it wasn’t even the fact that everything went right. It’s that everything just keeps going right and that everyone was so nice and while I definitely felt like no one gave a shit about me at school, I’ve come to peace with that.
They have their own things they have to worry about. I have my own things that I need to worry about. AND THAT’S OKAY. In the words of the great Tyler Oakley, “You do you and Imma do me.”
It’s not out of hatred or spite that these people don’t care about me. It’s that I’m not even on their radar. Whenever I am on someone’s radar then they do care and are very nice people.
Wow, look at me. Making general assumptions about the population of an entire campus of people because I’ve had a few nice encounters on the first day when everyone is being nice. Oh well, let me live in my alternate reality.
Tomorrow. Welp. This is it. Tomorrow is the big day. It’s the first day of school.
I estimate that that last sentence is probably the most used phrase this time of year.
“Oh it’s the first day of school, kids!”
“Welcome to the first day of school!
“I don’t want to get up, it’s the first day of school!”
That last complaining one is probably going to be me in the morning. I mean, yes, I am terribly excited for classes to start and to have a structured schedule again. But honestly, I have two major problems with going back to school:
- Summer is over
- I’ve never done this before
The first one is understandable, but, well, what do you mean by that last one, Hope? Well, No One, I’ve never gone to a big school. The largest school I went to was for two years in the academic advanced program where people were forced to be friends with me, cuz let’s face it, I was the smartest one in the room. That school was about a thousand students I’d say and it was K-8 public school. There were tons of idiots, some average fellows, some advanced ones like myself and company, and that was it! Now I am heading into San Diego State University. Literally famous for nationally renowned sports teams. There are five thousand incoming freshmen, including myself. The “Aztec Community” which consists of students, alumni, staff, and faculty, is at around 380,000 people.
How am I ever going to standout here?
Not that I want to on a grand scale, but rather how am I going to make my teachers remember me? How am I going to make friends? How am I going to push through my impacted major and rise to the top? How? How? How?!
I don’t fucking know the answers to any of these questions. Which frustrates me to no end. But I guess I’ll only know by trying to figure it out myself. Starting tomorrow.