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Feeling Open

Obviously I tell you, No One, a lot about my life, but I think one thing that you might not understand is that I just don’t REALLY open up all that much with my friends. Best friends, sure, but it takes a lot to get me to talk and that’s how I like it.

But tonight I hung out with A and her boyfriend and I really felt like I could be open with them so I was and they were open right back. A has shared a lot with me in the past, but I don’t know if I’ve ever truly compensated until tonight which was both refreshing and relieving in a sense.

Just generally I had a really great night with those two. They hardly ever make me feel like the third wheel (and if they do, IΒ know it’s on accident) and we’re just always laughing and enjoying each other’s simple company. I love every second, No One, I really do.

I hope you had a great day and evening. My eyelids are getting heavy so I’m gonna go to bed, but I’ll talk to you tomorrow. ❀

-Hope xoxo

my cabbages

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Abandonment Issues.

I can hardly breathe.

My lungs feel like they’re collapsing in on themselves

I hate the feeling.

 

I can hardly think

My thoughts focusing and refocusing on your absence

Like the focus of a camera

I miss your presence.

 

I can hardly see

Through the tears that well up in my eyes

Uncontrollable pain

As my heart is ripped apart from itself.

I can’t do this.

 

Again.

But you’re leaving.

All of you.

You’re all leaving

Me.

 

Please

Don’t go, I don’t know

When I’ll see you again

If I’ll see you again

Looking the way you do

Full of life and a fire behind those eyes.

 

Don’t leave me

I can’t do this again.

 

And you’re gone.

And I’m here.

 

Crying over the people I love

Hating them for making me so

Alone.

 

 

-Hope xoxo

 

P.S. This is a very personal topic for me and it’s a very rough piece, but I’d appreciate some gentle critiques if any of you are willing to leave them. Thank you for reading this and I hope you aren’t judging me too harshly. It’s just been rough since Bobby left.