So today I went back to work after going on my little vacation. It was surprisingly refreshing to work again, even though I was only off for three days. I do love working with kids, they’re all so weird and different and spontaneous. Everything is new and exciting to them and I love that sort of reckless optimism that radiates from most children.
After work I also stopped by my dear friend’s house to visit her and her daughter, something I haven’t done in a very long time. This friend reminds me so much of my sister, it’s crazy, probably because they’re best friends and grew up with each other, but it was nice to be with her, not only because I love her and her daughter, but also because she reminds me of Hannah so much. I guess I really do miss my sister, which is unfortunate to admit, but I can’t deny it. She is my best friend and I do have separation anxiety and holy crap I miss her. Going back to work made me think about her so much because we have similar coworkers and they all think we look alike and they were all wondering where she was and I just wish she was there with me.
I know it’s a selfish wish, but I still wish it nonetheless. Sue me, mother fucker.
Timing is life.”
-A little boy during a beginner guitar class at my music school
Timing is everything. Music, plans, days, relationships, friendships? All boil down to the right timing and often times sitting around and waiting for the right time to come.
I suppose I’m slowly learning patience more and more everyday; I just wish I didn’t have to.
I try to keep it real. I don’t have time to worry about what I’m projecting to the world. I’m just busy being myself.”
Life is full of confusion. Confusion of love, passion, and romance. Confusion of family and friends. Confusion with life itself. What path we take, what turns we make. How we roll our dice.”
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
So I feel like I need to just talk, No One, and you all don’t really mind when I do so I will.
We’re all familiar with Bobby right? Some of you new people might not, so I suggest you go check out https://hafletcher9718.wordpress.com/2015/01/18/panic-attacks/ and https://hafletcher9718.wordpress.com/2015/01/03/time-to-catch-up/ and https://hafletcher9718.wordpress.com/2014/09/07/bye/ – all of which are longer blogs but if you really want to know then go read those. Well Bobby has a dog named Jess and she is just about the cutest and nicest dog ever. I really should say “was” though.
She hasn’t gone on to the big dog house in the sky or anything, but ever since he left for boot camp she has remained at his father’s house with his step mom and stepsister. Of course they all live very complex lives and can’t take care of her as well as he did, but I’m watching her while they’re away this weekend and it just breaks my heart to see how much she’s changed. She was such a good dog, obedient and loyal, and it’s not that she isn’t now, but rather she’s just so eager for attention and love that I feel like she’s been unfortunately neglected. I know it’s no one’s fault and sometimes we forget, but I wish Bobby would just come home and take care of her like he used to.
Oh no, has a dog just accidentally turned into a metaphor for how I feel neglected by my friend and my inner desire for him to come home?
Goddammit I didn’t want to project my own feelings onto some cute dog, but hey I never said I was objective.
I don’t know, No One. I just feel bad for Jess. And it doesn’t help that I’ve been having to go over to his old house to take care of her twice a day. I can’t NOT think about him and the memories we’ve had together there and with Jess and just together and it makes me sad and makes me miss him more.
It doesn’t help that he’s at school right now and he won’t have his phone back for at least another week, so I can’t even talk to him about anything of this. If I would have in the first place – well I guess I’d like the opportunity to try.
I just have to keep my head up, I suppose, and focus on the good things. Shall we focus on those for a minute, No One? Okay!
I survived another week of school!
I do get to spend time with Jess and give her as much love as I can while I can.
I’ve had a pretty mellow and relaxed evening filled with tea, wine, face masks, and YouTube.
So my life isn’t too bad I guess, just there’s the occasional projection of my emotions onto hyperactive creatures, but like that’s normal right? 😛